Circleville and Cedar City

A few weekends ago, Makayla and I headed down to Circleville and Cedar City for some fun. Friday and Saturday we camped, (in a trailer! Other wise Makayla wouldnt have come with me...) and Saturday night and Sunday, we were in Cedar City.

This is where we were camping. I LOVED IT there. So pretty!

Makayla l-o-v-e-d riding in the truck. She usually fell asleep tho

We went on a ride on the Rhino's, and she also fell asleep during that ride.

This is Jada. She is so stinkin cute.

I picked up Sydni and her girls in Beaver, so we could all go to Cedar City together. Three big girl carseats, and stuff for 5 girls...is alot of stuff...The poor girls were so squished!

This is Sydni's little girl, Allie. Her and Makayla kinda just sit and look at each other..its funny.

Mixed Emotions

As if the emotional part of being a girl doesn't suck enough, I feel like I have EVERYTHING working against me. I can't find a stupid job. Things with Mikey suck. Well things with Mikey are over and done, which is fine, and we're friends, but we still fight about stupid stuff. Makayla is teething. AND she has a cough. Layton is annoying me. I'm completely alone (which is fine). Everyone tells me they know how I fell, and that everything is going to be okay. I feel like NO ONE understands what I'm going through. Like NO ONE knows what it's like to get pregnant in high school, almost not graduate, be stuck living in a house where you don't feel welcome, or that you belong, have a failed relationship with the father of your child, who is also the love of your life, live in a town where you don't know anyone (which I'm okay with tho!), Be looking for a job for two and a half months WITH NO LUCK.

I honestly feel like there in no point in trying anymore. Yet at the same time, I have no choice but to get up everyday and go look for a job. I can go to 20 or 30 places each day, and without fail, i get told, "No, we're not hiring." I don't know what else I can do. Even the Centerville Firehouse wont hire me, and I've got almost 2 years of Firehouse experience. I job hunt everyday, for a few hours. It's hard with Makayla, but we go as long as she will last and be happy. I always have a prayer in my heart, and I say a prayer before I leave. But still NOTHING. What more do I have to go through before I can catch a break in life? How much longer do I have to worry and stress about how my rent, and all my bills are going to be paid? Or how I'm going to get things for Makayla that she needs? Gah I'm so frustrated and irritated.

But...at the same time, I'm happy with my life. The only thing I would change, is having a job. I have the most beautiful and amazing daughter, who I get to spend all day with. I get to watch her as she explores new things, has mini adventures, and finds joy in the little things. I have been there for everything in her life. For her first smile, the first time she sat up on her own, rolled over, crawled, stood up on the furniture, and yesterday, she took her first step. Our days consist of playing. The dishes go undone, and the apartment is always cluttered with toys. Not because I'm lazy, but because I would rather sit and play with Makayla. She has many toys, but her new favorite thing is a spoon. Just a regular spoon. I always wonder what she is thinking about. I wish I could look into her mind, just for 5 minutes, or see the world from her perspective. She doesn't know sorrow, hurt, anger or fear. All she knows is love and happiness. And that's the way it should be.

Im A Big Girl Now!

My baby girl is almost 10 months old!! She is getting so big, its happening too fast for me...I do love this stage she is at tho. She is crawling everywhere, pulling up on everything, then falling down...its alot of work, and sometimes it gets stressful for me, but I wouldn't change one minute of anything. Ive accepted that she loves playing in the kitchen. Ive stopped trying to keep her out, and it makes my days easier. She loves music, and will bounce around when its on. She loves to play outside on our little balcony, she loves to play with the door stopper in her room, and pulling every single toy she has out. She also loves pulling all the plastic bags out that are in the hallway. (Those are now up where she cant get them) And, she LOVES her big girl car seat! Everyday is a new adventure for her, and I love that I can be right along side her for it :)

Doctor Anyone?

Makayla has been to the doctor three times in Layton already. Not fun for me, but I'm pretty sure she likes it. The first visit was because I thought she had an ear infection again, and I was right. The second visit, two days later was because she had developed a cough and a runny nose. The doctor said it was nothing to worry about, it was a result of the ear infection. So I give her the medicine for ten days, twice a day like I'm supposed to. We went back on the 8th, for her 9 month well child check up (Even though she is almost ten months!) and here is what I found out: on top of a runny nose and cough (that hadn't gone away...) she also had a double ear infection, AND three teeth coming in. My poor baby girl. So once again, she is getting medicine twice a day for ten days. I hope it actually works this time. For her sake and mine...

BATH TiME!

Makayla has started eating mac and cheese, along with other table foods. Which means bathtime has become more frequent, due to the messes she makes. She absoulty LOVES bathtime. The other night, she was in the tub for 45 min before she started fussing.

Bear Lake (July)

I'm so bummed I didn't get more pictures while we were up at Bear Lake. This pictures are from beach day, which is also the day Makayla started crawling!!! She doesn't crawl on her knees, she keeps her legs straight. It's only a matter of time before she is walking. Yay!

Bruised

I am FINALLY catching up on my blog, because I've found my camera! Okay so These pictures are from a Sunday (probably in June!). We were at church, and Miss Makayla was standing on my lap, playing with the bench in front of us. Then she lost her balance and hit her little face :( She screamed, and i had to take her out in the hall for about 15 min. No fun. Her little cheek was bruised for a few weeks.